Gems And Jellybeans

Okay okay it seems that you guys are due with a new blog entry, yet it seems like I update onlyonce a month. I know, isn’t that sad? Anywho I’ve yet to decide whether or not I’ll keep this blog, or axe it. And yes I know that I made up my mind before, but doing full-time college as well as a part-time job, AND juggling my boyfriend and family at the same time doesn’t really leave room for sleep even. Not to mention, it’s not like you can’t live without my blog entries Don’t lie! I know you couldn’t care less!* (please follow this * down below on the page, where I describe in candid detail my annoyance with this phrase). So don’t hate me, but sometimes life takes priority, and since no one truly cares about this blog.. I might have to cut it *endless cries*. We will see! I’m contemplating it only because I might want to take up a new super-cool venture called… *wait for it* YouTube… AND Blog TV. Which is me… LIVE! Lol isn’t that exciting? Come on at least fake being excited to see my annoying face?

*This is one really bugs me. It only bugs me when people DON’T say it right! People what the hell? It is “Couldn’t care less” not “Could care less”. Geez it isn’t that hard. Think about it for a sec, if you say “Oh I could care less if he sleeps with her” you technically COULD care less, which means that you care more than you could. Rather, when you say “Oh I couldn’t care less if I get swine flu” IT MAKES SENSE! Because there’s no more caring left, and therefore you can NOT care less than you do now. It isn’t that hard people! So please do NOT make the mistake of confusing the two in front of me. Unless you want an angry grammar lesson. Thank you and good night!

So I am happy to announce that my Reading Week has officially commenced! This news obviously has me jumping for joy every second of the day, enjoying breakfast in the afternoon, and sleeping like a bear in hibernation. But I am loving it! I definitely need this week to unwind and try to recharge my batteries. As you can probably tell (with my non-existent self on here) that I’m not around often. Let me tell you why.

I wake up, go to college. Then go to work (I’m a tutor). Come home. Go to sleep by 10:30. Wake up and do it all.. over… again.. I don’t have time for anything these days. So please excuse my absence, but this is the best I can do right now (Or should I say WRITE now? Lol)

On a good note, I managed to fill my week up this week pretty well. I’ve got a shitload of assignments, papers, and mid-terms to complete for next week (a total of 3 papers, and study for 1 mid-term). So my weekdays (morning and afternoons) are “supposedly” (I say that with quotes because we’ll see how much work I REALLY get done.. rather than say I do) filled with work, and I’ve tried to arrange it so my nights are free. I have my fingers crossed for this schedule! Lol

On the other hand, Halloween is on Saturday! I’m pretty excited and I hope to pull off my costume fairly well. That is, because it’s technically my own creation with a few helpful tools lol. However, the idea of dressing up in costume gives me slight anxiety. For some apparent reason, I feel like a fool lol.. I dont know why. I mean I know that everyone else is dressed in costume too, but I feel pathetic at times when I dress up. Who knows, maybe this year will be different and I’ll get drunk and not notice. Ha!

Anywhoozle, hope everyone is having a great Monday.. And I’ll try to update a few more times this week! If not, don’t kill me

I’m shocked to realize that I haven’t written in almost a month. A MONTH! What is wrong with me? At least I have the excuse of school. That seems to take more of my time than my boyfriend. Ha I kid, I kid. But really, I’ve had suuuuuch long days. My lectures are all mostly long and draining, and by the time I come home I just want to crash for a few hours. What is wrong with me? As I sit here writing and updating you guys, Im drinking water from my “Macchiato, Coffee, Cappucino” mug. I thought that was necessary to share.

I feel so lucky and oddly weird when people actually comment on my blog. Probably because I feel like no one reads this and I’m just gathering internet dust on my blog. Get it? You know when things lay there for a while they gather dust? But it’s a blog on the internet? Get it!?? Again, such a comedic genius I am.

Nothing exciting that is truly worth noting in my life. Just going day by day, kiddos. Halloween is coming up, and I am trying to find a costume. Or should I say slutstume? Get it? Ha! I’m on a roll today This will be a short post as I have to email my prof regarding my thesis (oh the life of an English major) not to mention catch up on some episodes of addiction-packed goodness. Hope everyone had an awesome weekend, and we are so close to the next one, so don’t stress out Plus I have a long weekend! Turkey day (aka Thanksgiving) here in Canada on Monday! Sweet baby Jesus I’m excited to have a day off!

Enlighten me: What do you want to be for halloween? Got a costume? Or just hanging at home with tv dinners?

As any other person may know, females are primarily engulfed in the idea of marriage. The extravagant wedding, the overflowing ball gown, not to mention 2.1 children, and the white picket fence. Nice fantasy we carved up, no? But we tend to dismiss other women who don’t share the same fantasy as clearly in denial. So what about those women who don’t yearn for the ring or the soulmate for life?

This will probably be the first and last time I share my views on marriage. I have never shared these feelings openly all in one go, because this is such an overly complex topic. Here goes. My outlook on marriage has been impacted by my first socializing group — family. My parents fought endlessly when I was a naive young girl and ended up separating in January of 2007. Growing up in such an emotionally draining environment I felt that I never wanted to get married. I held onto the notion of a “loveless” & “conflicting” marriage for quite some time. After seeing the relationship crumble between my parents, I believed that I did not want to get married at all in my lifetime because I did not want to put up with such negativity around the idea of marriage. I viewed marriage as completely narcissistic, negative, and disappointing. I wanted to lead my own life. I felt that I would inevitably go down the path that most of my family has embarked on: divorce. My mother is soon to be divorced, and both sides of my grandparents are divorced (although my grandmother has been with my step-grandfather for more than 30 years). I felt that I was doomed to that pattern and wanted no part of it. I was my own happiness, I didn’t need the everyday emotional and verbal battles between a man and myself.

I feel that I missed out on those dreams that younger girls had about big, white princess gowns. The Romeo riding on a horse. And that dream of happiness. I never held those aspirations or dreams that needed to be fulfilled by marriage. Fast forward to when my hormones kicked in and when I entered my long-term relationship. My partner (yes, because boyfriend sounds so… childish?) made me realize security, hope, and happiness. He gave me everything I needed and more. I started to feel that I wanted to have a better union than my parents had, not to mention I started to build hope that marriage is possible. I started to have hope for romance and respect in a marriage. I then changed my mind recoiled and dreamt of getting married at (minimum) 30 years old (I wanted my career to succeed first. I’m smart, yes.)

Long-term relationships change you. They bring hope for a better tomorrow, hope for romance and happiness, and security that I longed for. I never accepted common-law marriage or living with a partner without any vows because I was never taught about those unions when I was younger. But now? Now I feel that whatever the future holds for me, whether it’s a huge white wedding dress, or a common-law tax return… I will accept it, love it, and cherish it. In the end, all I want is a partner by my side. On paper, or not.

* I love it when people remember my name. It makes me feel not only remembered but special for some reason. Special because they remembered MY name for a specific reason. Even if it means that I had food stuck in my teeth that day. This also means that I have a slight OCD component to that confession which deals with me thinking EVERYONE forgot my name. This is probably why I will remind people that I have met previously my name (even if it was 3 get togethers ago). People knowing my name makes me feel like family, like new friends or old friends truly consider me as family.

* I have a very neurotic writing pattern. If a letter is not perfect enough or slanted enough I will rip the sheet out of the notebook. People always comment on how perfect my handwriting is. Although, I specifically don’t start writing in journals for the fear that I will be so engrossed in my thoughts and emotions that my writing will become sloppy and ugly. This is probably because my mother pushed for me to handwrite when I was in grade 2. I have written cursive ever since.

* I think about money at least 10 times a day. I check my banking account as often as I can. I calculate my paychecks. I write down all the hours I work. At times, I feel this is obsessive.. But better be safe than sorry, no? I like to be aware of things before other people are. And I like to have control especially over such a tricky subject like finance.

I have all these ideas buzzing inside my head on how I want my blog to look and feel. I just thought of this (brialliant? stupid?) idea that I may want to play around with. From time to time, I’d love to hear suggestions on what my blog entries should be about or new content that may be enjoyable to talk about. This can be anything from the latest political controversy to entertainment scandals or to everyday questions that we seem to stumble upon. However I might just draw the line at completely overdone news stories (like Kanye and his latest doucheyness) I really like this idea and think it can generate a lot of debate throughout not only comments, but through my posts and bitchy PMS opinions as well.

Let me know what you think, I’d love to try this out!

After my self-loathing and pity post, I have made the decision to stick to blogging. *Enter applause here* Not only did I receive an overwhelming response from people that are dear to me (and by overwhelming I mean more than 1 person), but I realized that life will throw curveballs & we have to maintain our patterns in life. If my pattern is to blog, then so be it
I hope to blog and update at least twice a week, but with full time school, tests, and exams… Who knows how that will go. What I can promise is that I will be here, updating as much as I can. Giving you guys my all. Entertainment, humour, and random thoughts on life. Just stick through it and I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Now lets talk edukashun. Oh the dreaded category, I apologize in advance. I start my second (and hopefully last) year of college tomorrow. Just typing that makes me feel slightly neurotic and twitch with insecurity. Last year, college was such a new and independent experience for me. I did end up taking a year off before college to “bullshit” per-say, and attending college seemed to be such a new experience for me one year later. I successfully completed my first year with a 3.1 cumulative average, scoring 3 A’s in my last semester alone. I aspire and truly truly hope I can succeed this year with a 4.0 GPA, score a scholarship, and last but not least finish on the Dean Honour list (or however you call it). I know that it’ll take endless, sleepless nights of readings. I know it’ll be a stressful ball of havoc that will probably swallow me whole and spit me out dry. But I also know that I didn’t give up no matter what last year, and that was a side of me I’ve never met. I was never the best student back in high school. I dozed off and didn’t put my best foot forward, I slacked and it showed. But that side of me was diminished when I entered college (ironically). I hope I can continue to succeed with that new side of me full of inspiration, determination, and perseverance.

Preparing for tomorrow has been a busy and hectic day. I feel like such a good little housewife today. Please be aware that I will throw a toooon of information at you within the next few seconds… As soon as I awoke, I started cleaning and wiping the kitchen. I cleaned the microwave. I cleaned the living room. I wiped every surface I could find. Then moved to the bathroom and even organized the toilet paper in the most imaginative way possible. I started my room. Oh boy, oh boy… I cleaned, I vacuumed. I came, I saw, I conquered. I don’t know what kind of crack I had this morning, but baby I was on a roll! I took a shower, applied my favourite cocoa butter lotion, and blowdried my lions mane. Then I did laundry, wiped all the dust in my room, and even sorted out my empty picture frames with loving faces. And lastly, I cooked dinner. It’s now only 9:30 and I am exhaaaaaausted. But that is great news because I can finally head to bed early, and wake up feeling refreshed!

Now I know you probably don’t want to hear about my long, Labour Day weekend. So all I will say is this: there was a lot (and I mean a lot) of alcohol involved throughout these past 4 days, my amazing boyfriend’s birthday on Thursday, shopping in Kensington Market downtown, last get togethers with close friends, and a lot of snuggling (not with friends, mind you. The boyfriend obviously). That is all. I will leave that to your imagination to scuplt as you wish.

I truly hope everyone had a wonderful and relaxing weekend as much as I did. It is now fall and I can’t say how much I will miss Toronto’s summer (heres a hint: NOT a lot at all.. We’ve had 20 or 30 days of summer this year). Enjoy the beginning of autumn, and let me know how your summer went

Let’s just get to the point. I started this blog wanting to vent out ideas and make people laugh. That is what I aspire to do every single day that I live. I wanted this to be a humorous blog about comical things that occur to not only me, but people around me. I wanted people to laugh and be entertained. I wanted to update constantly and be on top of my “blogging” game, so to say.

But I feel it’s not the case. I feel like I’m not doing the best job at this blogging business. I originally had so much time on my hands, not to mention having quit my job and enjoying my lazy summer. I now have a job and I return to my college in a week for full time studies. I feel like I won’t be able to maintain or run this blog the way I want to because of the limited amount of time and energy that I will have. I really really really want to, but I just feel like I’ll disappoint a lot of people. Not to mention that I haven’t been the best updater recently (last post was 10 days ago? Eeeek, I’m sorry). Reading other blogs and other “blogHERS” out there, they are constantly updating.. Constantly on the prowl for more posts, and here I am feeling quite busy and lost.

So I’m at a standstill, I don’t know what to do or where to go. Do I give up this blog, considering I don’t have many followers anyway… Or stick through and MAKE time for it and develop a bigger and better community that enjoys what I do?

Suggestions, comments, complaints… Anything is welcome; reach out to me, let me know you’re there…

Guess whos back! (Dont debate “whose” vs. “whos” with me; I am lazy) I have been away FOREVER it seems. It’s been a hectic few weeks. My last entry seems decades long ago. And I do very much apologize for that because I’ve been working non-stop on top of trying to get everything done before my precious last year of college approaches.

This means my days have been filled with endless window shopping, on top of spending money I don’t have, on top of over-working and crashing into bed as soon as I come home from work. Doesn’t that just scream excitement? I don’t know what has been up with me lately, I’ve been going through this constant hustle and bustle between everything on top of trying to unwind. I feel like I have so much to do before school starts, but realistically it isn’t a lot.

I’ve been working full time shifts at work this week, and selling as much as I can. So I’m a happy camper when it comes to work because I try to kick ass even in this economy. Although I can’t use that excuse anymore because technically the economy is in the shitter no more. There’s nothing exciting going on my life, if anything I’m just trying to juggle everything that life throws at me. Last week my mum’s boyfriend was admitted into the hospital because the doctors believed he was about to have a heart attack. Needless to say he is STILL in the hospital, no heart attack yet. However after endless procedures, they estalished the idea that his heart is weak and he can pretty much die any minute. Doesn’t that make your life worth living? To think that another person can simply take their last breath in a minute while you or others are as healthy as can be? It makes me want to live my life more healthily and look after my own actions and reactions. It’s tough and draining, but I really hope he gets better.

I will write an entry hopefully tomorrow that doesn’t seem so rushed and depressing. Hope everyone is doing well and had a great weekend. Remember, be safe and be healthy. Health is our #1 priority.

- K

Oh how I love weekends! For once in my life, I didn’t stay home throughout the weekend moping and contemplating suicide near my computer. I kid I kid! This weekend involved “quality” (and I say that with quotation marks because shouldn’t every minute be considered quality time with the one and only? *awww* ) time with my loved one. It feels great to just get away, even if it is just downtown or home or anywhere away from stress for that matter. We ended up going to see Funny People on Friday. It was 2.5 hours long… Errr, is this a Lord of the Rings trilogy? It was good, somewhat depressing in most aspects but still inappropriately funny in others. I’ll give it a 3.5 out of 5 stars. So if you want to spend 2.5 of your life doing anything but picking your nose, go see it.

Saturday rolls around which means going downtown because it’s gorgeous outside! The hubby (shall we make a nickname for him? Suggestions welcome!) and I then decided to walk around downtown, and then ended up playing pool in this huge pool hall afterwards. We contemplated going to see a psychic (okay okay, I contemplated it) but never ended up going. Don’t know why really lol. Then walked around some more around to a few interesting shops and finally hit up a tattoo parlour. I’ve been itching to get another tattoo since I got my first one (err… 3 years ago) and kind of have an urge to get one now. So we browsed around but obviously didn’t decide to take a plunge for anything just yet

We usually drive past a McDonald’s when going home and inevitably got the munchies. Now listen here, by pick something up I don’t mean 2 Supersized Big Mac combos (oh if life was like that…) I mean 2 chicken snack wraps and coffee. That’s how badass we are. And this is where it all went downhill. We order. We drive towards the second window. It’s blocked by a car getting food. The car sits there for 10 minutes. I start honking (keep in mind, I’m not driving… Which makes this story even more amusing). Then I see a burger exchange happening between the window and the car. I’m thinking WTF can I get the food already? Another minute or two passes and the car finally moves to a nearby parking spot. We FINALLY get our food and decide to park as well…. one parking spot AWAY from the other car. As we “assess” our food, we realize the coffee we ordered is ridiculously cold. This is when I get enraged (fast food isn’t rocket science, people) and decide to go inside the “establishment” and complain the hell out of this mishap tell them my dilema. Now keep in mind, that I do not usually do this. Not even in restaurants. If something comes out bad or not up-to-par I don’t really mind because I don’t like to give people a hard time. However, when it comes to fast-food restaurants I guess I am pickier and slightly bitchier since they aren’t waitresses trying to support themselves or full-time cooks. Anyway, long story short (and I’ve used enough parenthesis too for now) I complain because this chick with the worst attitude gave me COLD coffee. Listen here kiddos, if you give me cold coffee.. I will fuck your shit up. I refuse to censor that sentence because I turn crazy if you dont get my coffee right lol. I tell them my story and before I even demand my refund (what? You didn’t think I’d PAY for that coffee now did you?) the manager comes up to me and apologizes for the mistake and gives me a full refund while brewing new coffee. THAT IS HOW IT’S DONE!

If you ever have a problem with a fast food restaurant, let them know. I don’t mean be blatantly rude, because trust me I held my attitude while still being stern. But don’t settle for anything less. Like I said, it’s not rocket science… the least they can do is get your order right. Now what you’re being served and the quality of that is a completely different topic for another time.

Do you have any crazy fast-food stories ? Anything that jumps out at you through your memories ? I’m dying to know